Test Run Librarian: 05.16.2004

Today's theme: You favorite jobs (or parts of jobs) or volunteer positions. MJ's are the following:
1) Dicussion Group Leader of Books Over Biscotti, a monthly reading group that I founded & miss dearly. I LOVE to read and discuss quality fiction with intelligent individuals. I am an Adult Services Librarian at heart, not an academic librarian.
2) Editorial Assistant for the New Orleans Review, a literary magazine. I worked under Editor Ralph Adamo.
3) (A distant third, but on the list because the work was interesting and the people were AWESOME): Copy Editor, Peter Mayer Advertising Inc.
C'est tout, mes amis!

LIBRARIAN ISSUES OF NOTE: There is an interesting post here about the decapitation video being viewed in a school library: http://www.livejournal.com/community/library_grrls/. Also, this is a site meant to promote a movie, but people sadly believe it is real: http://www.godsendinstitute.org/home.html. That makes me sad for them :(, but this is why we need to teach people how to look at information critically. This is an amusing hoax site: http://www.rythospital.com/clyven/. Also, the thread of the day is you top five best friends. Here are mine, in no special order:
1) You, gooberchic (gubersheek)
2) kd
3) j. jaffee
4) my mom
5) my sister
I am also developing a friendship with someone else in my geographical area. In my hometown, I have two lady friends that I'd like to add to my list but it's been so long since I saw and hung out with them, it wouldn't really be accurate -- although I feel we still have a strong relationship.

Starbux!!!!!!!!!! YOU WENT WITHOUT ME YOU DIRTY STINKIN RAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh,I have been meaning to respond to your earlier post: "I'm guessing your wealth of messages from guys on Friendster has to do with the fact that, at one time, you were listed as looking for dates (or at least are listed as single)."

I NEVER listed myself as looking for dates! I am not that desperate yet, or at least I don't appear that way on Friendster.

In fact I get a lot of unwanted attention a cause de the fact that I am absolutely gorgeous, insanely smart, incredibly kind, and the best person anyone has EVAH KNOWN. That's why I am so popular on Friendster. Hey, guess what! I am not in a bad mood about my upcoming evaluation any more! I do feel bad, however, that I went off on a tangent about it in an email to a friend named ______. Oh well, I shouldn't feel so bad; I've listened to _______'s woes too. It's all about sharing complaints.

I just checked my email and saw THREE DIGESTS from the Chatty Librarians listserve. What the f? And I thought I was an emailer.
NEW TOPIC: THINGS TO DO IN _____ WHEN YOU'RE DEAD TIRED OF WORK AT WORK
1) furrow your brow (makes you look concerned)
2) develope LOUD KEYSTROKES (makes you sound busy, annoying, and pseudo-important)
3) have people drop in on you but don't let them camp (humans admire the social but not-too-social nature of other humans)
4) look up strange shite in databases (you can talk about this stuff later to impress someone: "Hey did you know that in the ____ of _____, young boys ingest the semen of older male warriors to develop their strength and masculinity?")
5) change into something that flaunts your _______ and walk by an important person of the opposite sex. or the same sex. whatever.
6) photocopy funny pics of people in compromising positions. OR BETTER: use the office's digital camera to take funny pics of people in compromising positions and upload them quickly
7) stare at _______ and watch 'em squirm
8) ingest dilbert, office space, or whatever else makes you laugh pathetically at our counter-productive work system
9) see 10.
10) i ran out of ideas

I see a passive-aggressive post said the blind man. Note that I said your nickname (on purpose), not your real one. It was I who was outed. I am working on my self-evaluation, which will be combined with my supervisor's evaluaton tomorrow. In looking over what I've done in the past 10 months, I suppose I am not so awful. I just want to do SO MUCH MORE. Like tutorials, learning XML and more CSS, reaching technology workshops to students. But the mere mention of those sends shivers up people's spines.

Here is our new Librarian Code of Ethics:

1) We kowtow to all patrons, particularly the insane, angry-at-the-world ones, who threaten to see the man upstairs if we don't give them the answer NOW!
2) We are terrified of technology, the Web, and anything related to a computer, and we refuse to see the link between technology and research. Because there is none, baby. It's all bricks and mortar.
3) We worship Bill Gates.
4) We insist on having so much quiet around us that you can hear a pin drop on the sixth floor.
5) We commit to writing boring articles laid out in boring professional journals that only a handful of people read.
6) We love making young people feel bad about themselves.

QUOTES OF THE DAY
1) "I feel too bloated with misery to eat a salted bean." - pg. 137, Chinatown: most time, hard time, retrieved from eHRAF collection of ethnography 5/18/04
2) "There's a way to make it better. Just forget that stupid bitch." Humbert, "Hugo"

Now you know my mood is total and complete shite this week - so, people, stay away - but I thought I'd register another complaint. Why is it that males out the wazoo email me on Friendster looking for dates when I specifically note in my profile that I am NOT LOOKING FOR FRIENDSTER DATES? What is this, a challenge to guys? I don't get it. I hate people for the most part, except, of course, those with good f'in manners. If Humbert would take all their songs and turn them into a nice, sweet boyfriend for me... then I could stop dreaming. But I'm not going to use Friendster or MySpace or anything ridiculous like that. I'm done with those things.
OK, here's what I logged in for. I can't figure out how to add these freakin' links, rach, cuz I'm too damn impatient. And you know I have oh, so much to do. Here are some good blogs to add at the left:
http://www.blogwithoutalibrary.net/, http://saritasce.blogspot.com/, my favorite: http://www.etches-johnson.com/ (hey amanda e-j!), http://www.livejournal.com/community/library_grrls/, http://lostinthestacks.typepad.com/.
And can we go public with this blog?

Yes. Now get out of my way before I catalog you!

New thread: "Things you knew you shouldn't have done but you did anyway":
1) Left home too early.
2) Joined too many online communities and listserves.
3) Developed a taste for the good life, but
4) Became an educator.
5) Developed affinities for musicians.
6) Purchased a CD that could have been burned.
7) Missed seeing Rasputina again.
8) Moved to better oneself in a new location, regardless of how shitty it was (well, is).
9) Expected good manners out of people.
10) Liked a band too much! (Humbert! I love you guys!)
11) Drank that extra drink, got pulled over by the cops, and indulged in that forbidden one-night-stand.

I like this librarian b/c apparently it is angry too: Librarian's Rant. And to fix the link to the left, it's the curmudgeonly librarian. I like the curmudgeonly librarian's "you're a librarian?!" comments, but somehow they are not mean enough. I think that I may have said worse when I was a burned-out reference librarian.

I am so bored today that I think I am going to die! Plus, Marc with a C cut out an article for me about poets. Apparently they tend to live shorter lives than any other type of writer. Maybe I should switch to prose. Or get new friends! (Just kidding, Marc. Thanks for the article!) The good news is that I get off in two hours, thank gawd. In between now and then, I am going to investigate the possibility of creating a concept map about information literacy. Normally that thought makes me excited (really), but today it is like a fat piece of liver on my plate that a ruddy-faced, overweight nun is forcing me to eat three bites of. Anyone ever have to eat three bites of every section of your lunch when you were in middle school? I did, and it was veal that got caught in my throat one day and I started crying. Those poor, sad baby cows... By the way, I went to a school called Sacred Heart, and my mom accidentally wrote out a tuition check to them that paid to the order of "Sacred Cow." Wait a minute... maybe it was "Scared Heart." Those girls were really horrible, so maybe that's what she wrote because she secretly felt bad for sending me there. They would freeze one's underwear at parties, invite nerds to "birthday parties" that weren't really birthday parties, hide one's gym clothes, and generally be hateful for absolutely no reason. They also hated Jewish people and Democrats, in addition to children whose parents were single and drove fuel efficient Hondas and lived outside of the Uptown area.

Test Run Librarian

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