Test Run Librarian

I have returned to a book entitled Solitude by A. Storr. This non-fiction work is an argument for the virtues of aloneness. It presents many interesting ideas, and I will summarize them in a future blog. One idea that sticks out in my mind is this: one cannot solely derive one's pleasure in life from one relationship. Even if one is married or committed to a lover, it is necessary to cultivate new relationships with others (and continue to cultivate the existing ones, of course).

This is an idea that is antithetical to our notion of a loving marriage. A partner, if s/he loves you, is not supposed to have emotional bonds with members of the opposite (or same, depending on your orientation) sex. But this book is saying that's fucked up. It also says that happy adults tend to be ones who were allowed, as children, to be 'alone in the presence of another,' such as a parent. Enormous emotional deficiencies (depression, anxiety) occur in individuals whose parent(s) died when they were very young. (This can also apply to individuals whose parent(s) did not die but abandoned them at an early age or ignored them and sent them off to boarding school...) I will write more later about this.

I am now going to the pool and hopefully I will not be harassed again (yesterday I was invited to Key West by an individual -- completely out of the blue -- I did not know this person, nor did we have any conversation beforehand. Of course I said no and was annoyed, but at the same time this struck me as sad because this young man was not so bad looking, so why was he in such a state of desperation as to do such a thing? Or am I reading this situation incorrectly? These Florida men are truly srange. Truly!)

posted by Amanda @ Sunday, May 30, 2004