12.01.2004

Good morning, everyone! You are reading the words of someone who just consumed copious amounts of coffee and who now needs to run ten miles to exhaust herself. She is staring around ar her goofy office -- a set of two lavender chairs she picked from the discard pile, a satin flamingo statue, piles and piles of lesson plans, newsletter, catalogs, slips for book purchases, travel documents, letters of appreciation for participation in various events or seminars/classes........she has a million ideas running around her head for Web pages and a PowerBook G4 sitting on her right with the Macromedia Studio installed... what? is she crazy? Hey, the Mooney Suziki CD won't play! It's one of those 'enhanced' CDs -- grrrrrrrrrrrr........

I woke up this morning, like all mornings of my life in my thirties, to a silky white cat named Mare Mare trying to snuggle with me. It's a purrfect experience, and I try to enjoy it because I know that the love of my life -- this really sweet cat -- will not be around forever and I want to enjoy her presence. (No, I am not into bestiality; cats are just more reliable than romance, it seems.) (Well, cats and music.)

I drove to work amidst lexi, mercedes, SUVs, and other horrific baby boomer vehicles underneath a gray sky. Yay! Gray... reminds me of home, where rain and a good book are all it takes to satisfy me... in addition to living in an early twentieth-century house with wood floors and tall windows, hearing the occasional sound of a streetcar humming along, but all in all, quiet. No loud kids screaming unintelligible Spanish around the pool, no blaring salsa music, no angry Haitians barking at one another (or is that talking?) ...

Last night I purchased the SMiLE CD (Brian Wilson), and I am filled with hope, and lately that feeling has been a rarity living amongst such cold people. (Why are people so cold here?) Brian Wilson is nothing but warm; he understands the human condition and re-creates it in songs. It's been a long time since I've listened to songs that remind me of emotions I've felt. It makes me want to ask, "How does he know?" Well, of course he knows; he didn't leave his bed for two years, his band mates (his family members) turned on him, he was a major addict, he couldn't manage an adult relationship with anyone... or his kids... but finally, he has released the magic of his past. We thought it would never happen! He seemed so damaged by drugs and his own self-destruction that it is a shock to me that he is the Wilson brother to survive. Anyway, if life can get better for one formerly very-fucked-up person as Brian Wilson, life can get better for anyone. Not just better... one can achieve one's dreams... eventually. Maybe the key is patience, after all, and looking for things to distract and order the mind......................gotta go home play the bass the bass the bass.................gotta focus on the present

posted by Amanda @ Wednesday, December 01, 2004

0 Comments:

Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

<< Home